JACK DAWSON BITCH DETECTION SYSTEM

Real-time Cowardice Diagnostics • v9.9.2 (FUCKING OVERLOAD)

LATENCY 999ms
STATUS TOTAL BITCH
13:18:20
SUBJECT_DOSSIER // TARGET_COWARD
Subject Jack
WARNING: BITCH LEVELS EXCEEDING SAFE HUMAN CAPS

Jack "The Bitch-Made Dodger"

Class: Grade-A Bitch Weakness: Missing Spine, Fake Lag, Room Drafts Status: Crying in Corner
QUANTUM_BITCH_METER //
99.9%
BITCH-INDEX
BASE LEVEL 99.9%
EST. SPINE % 0.00%
SEVERITY MAXIMUM BITCH
BITCH_EXCUSE_SYNTHESIZER //
You know, I think it's really immature to sink beers and snort dexies. Anyways, I gotta go gobble a dick now"
- Jack Dawson, 2 minutes ago
7_DAY_BITCH_TRENDS //
Bitch Factor
Sober Index
MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT TODAY